Happy Meal

I was sitting outside the library today having my lunch when the person sitting next to me made me realize that I am a pretty non-creative lunch consumer. My betrothed and I stopped by Ralphs to get some giant sandwiches made (this way, I don't hungry and can work on my projects all day), and I was munching on my mayo drenched macaroni salad, with a single red bell pepper pellet mind you, while this skinny guy next to us pulled out cake after cake after chicken wing after cake. Really. I promise. I am not lying to you fellow reader (assuming there are any). So, first he pulls out an ample piece of chocolate cake, then a similar size piece of a cheese cake, he put that down only to consume two healthy sized chicken wings, then resumed devouring his cheese cake. This guy is awesome. Seriously. He didn't even have a fork, rather, he just let his hands and fingers get all up in that shit. He is my hero. At first glance I thought "dat shit cray", but I am now beginning to regret my meager lunch choices, and hope we can all learn from this intelligent lunch expert how important lunch really is and that we only live once. In the words of Juicy Couture (and Kirsten Dunst in Marie Antoinette), "Let them eat cake!"

I Can't Post anymore: Oh Brain, Where Art Thou?

It's been quite a while since I've posted! I wish I could say I just haven't been inspired, but that's so not the case. I even think about blogging on a daily basis, and think "hmm, I should blog this later," but I never seem to. Oh dear, what to do, what to do??!!??!! Anyway, it appears I just finished putting a prezi together, and all I can say is I love having simple prezis. I hate when too much crap is spinning around and text is flying everywhere and flashy lights are blinding you. It's pure torture. I guess I should take this time to write my presentation on little note cards so I don't make an ass out of myself at the conference Sister Witch and I will be attending, but that's so not happening right now. The truth is, nothing is happening right now. Well, the dove outside had it's babies, but that's about it. Speaking of that rude bird, I noticed her feeding her children birdies, and right as she noticed me she stopped! What a bitch! Even birds don't trust humans. No one and nothing in nature trusts anyone or anything else!!!!! We are damned! Dear Tall, non-fat, hot latte...can you kick in now? Thanks. Even latte's are conspired against me. All hail the Hello Kitty school supplies, they never seem to fail me. On this note, sweet dreams to all, and to ALL a good night.

Blueberry Donuts?

Today I made a very important and fascinating discovery. Apparently, there is a magical donut shop near Disneyland, called M&M donuts, where they prepare mouthgasmic creations. Today at Casa de --------'s I shamelessly consumed a blueberry donut. Crispy on the outside, purple-blue moist on the inside with mushy blueberries, my mouth turned into a consuming slut instantaneously. I started off with half a donut, then proceeded to eat the rest always chewing and wanting more, taking whatever was willing to go into my mouth, down my esophagus, and into my tummy where little pink men are stomping on it right now with their little pink boots to push it into my, currently donutless, intestines. Though I always joke about it, soon I will actually poop glitter. This isn't your ordinary digestive process, no no, this is pure magic(k).

Cheese

Cheese. 3 selections, or 5 selections. We will be ordering 5 selections.

Cheese makes everything better. If cheese does not cure us, nothing will.